Mason Sullivan // Dick Casablancas

If one more person thinks they're clever and starts singing about a Friday in the bar, I'm going to break a bottle of tequila over their heads and willingly go to jail. Somehow I don't think Bubba and T-Dawg sing stupid fucking songs about the days of the week.

Macy. Visit me at work. Distract me from the never-ending stupid that is drunk sorority girls on spring break. Please. I'll give you free alcohol.

Goddammit. I have got to stop waking up naked in rooms that aren't mine. This is just getting fucking awkward.

Fuck family.

I need to transfer to this school. And yes, that was worth an entire goddamn entry. Fuck off if you have a problem with it.

Oh for fuck's sake. Between hit lists and politics, I'd almost welcome a damn bus explosion.

Somebody wake me up when the drama is over.

For those of you wondering, the uniform was picked up by its rightful owner. Turns out? Not a real cop. Now I just feel dirty.

On another note, there really are people who believe it's cute to go to the bar dressing, acting, and somewhat looking like the cast of Jersey Shore. I'd like to take this moment to point out that the midget one was punched in the face at the bar, and I'm not above making your experience as a 'guido' complete with your own black eye.

Jesus Christ. How the hell did I get a police uniform? How much did I drink last night?

( Gavin )

( Em/Macy )

My plan for tonight is to get properly drunk, and it's not going to happen with this disgusting Bacardi. I'm starting to realize that liquor stores put the more disgusting alcohol in the easier-to-access-and-steal sections of the store, probably because it's not selling anyway. I can't guarantee my ass won't be seen again (though, we know you loved it), but there's risk for every gain, right?

Besides that, happy freaking new year. Woo. Hoo.

Atrocious drunk spelling aside, I'd say last night was a steamy success, wouldn't you Macy? Although I refuse to take credit for the naked homeless man on the couch. He's more of your friend type than mine.

In other news, for all two of you out there who care--and probably already know, thereby making this blog ridiculous and useless--I'm no longer homeless, unless of course Em decides she didn't enjoy that view of my ass, in which case I'll be finding another couch. But I doubt that.

I'm sirronded by bppbs. Mstly Msc's. I lpve New Yesrs.

So Dick and I are homeless. And before I get any obligatory idiotic remarks, I don't mean my dick, I mean Dick Casablancas, and I'm not taking the moment to explain that shit because I'm assuming if you can read this you already know how that works. If you don't? Jesus fucking Christ get your head examined.

Back to my earlier point. Apparently telling guys that their obsession with bad porn is dumb and probably why they failed out of college this semester is a bad way to keep a roof over your head. I've got until Friday to get my ass out, which means I have to turn to you...people. I was going to say lovely, but I'm pretty sure I hate at least 90% of you, so I won't.

( Uh-oh, someone's got their eye on that Miss White Trash title. )